first love o’ mine 

Last night I met my first love.

He was my childhood friend, or in Japanese they called it 幼馴染 [おさななじみ (osananajimi) ]. He was sooo cute and smart, the coolest guy on our neighborhood. He was a shy kid though.

Our house was only 100 meters apart, lol, so when I was a kid I often played in his backyard with my friends and he would shyly peeked from his house.

We were at the same school from elementary till middle school, but we were in different class since he was a year younger than me. All of our friends used to tease us to be in lovey-dovey even though we actually never had any conversation. He never came close or talked to me at all in those time.

I used to scream, cry and angry every time our friends teased us, and he usually only shyly smiled. Never talked back. He didn’t know but those girls who fancied him (and, many of them) ever brought me to a corner and somehow bullied me because of him, lol. He was always popular and cool but a terribly shy kid back then.

We never had any conversation, until I was in my undergraduate first year. He was still in his third year high school that time (OMG high school??). Didn’t know who initiated, we started to “talk”. In ramadhan, every time we went to mosque, we would coincidentally met, so we often went and back together since we live nearby. We exchanged messages a lot. I gave him birthday present and a very cute letter back then 笑

We went out once. He picked me in my home, and we were going to watch a movie. OMG I was so nervous that time hahaha cause we both didn’t want our parents and neighbors to know 笑

Silly me.

Once he tried to hold my hand in the elevator to the movie and I was so nervous lol. But he never did 🙂 Well he was 17 that time 笑

I think I was cruel to him because I ended whatever it was between us, because I didn’t want to have relationship with someone younger than me (well, the truth was at that time I… *censored* 笑). He didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what came into me back then.

I was 18, apparently young, stupid, and reckless.

Our live connected again when I moved to Japan in 2013. I moved to Tokyo, and he was in Hiroshima. My first week we talked on the phone two nights in a row. Spring break 2014 I went to Hiroshima and we promised to meet but we couldn’t. Winter break 2014 he went to Tokyo and we, once again, promised to meet but we never did meet. He went back to Indonesia in Spring 2015.

And then last night. I was on my usual summer break in Indonesia. There was a music event in our neighborhood. So, we coincidentally met. I knew that he would come and since tomorrow I am going back to Tokyo and I wouldn’t see him for one more year, I wanted to see him.

So here we are. I am 26, he is 25. We are both adults. He bravely came to me and we talked in ease. I think it was the first time for us 笑

I changed, he changed. He is now a cool and mature grown up man in my eyes. And I am pretty sure I had grown beautiful in his eyes. LOL 笑

I moved on; he moved on. But he will always be my first love; as I might be his first love, too. Am I?? I should ask him that sometimes! 笑

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