Can’t take my eyes off, of you

Three times!

She must like me! Once or two might be coincidence but three definitely isn’t!! OMG!

I started feeling creepy. Just what it is that she wants?!

I noticed it awhile ago, that, at every montly meeting in our company, there was that girl who always tried to glance at me, very very often. Our eyes met, and she would certainly throw her gaze to her left. Pfft, you go girl. I am not interested in you, though.

And as usual I would make disturbed face while looking away, avoiding those gaze.

##

Happy birthday!”

I shrugged my shoulder, and saw that girl with chocolate on her hand.

“Thank you.” I answered. How the heck she knew my birthday!

My eyes focused on the chocolate on my hand. There was a writing there. A simple “Happy Birthday”. Nothing else there; not even her name. Nothing special.

“You know.. We.. ”

I looked at her. She stunned. I waited for her to continue her words.

“Uhm.. forget it.” She made an awkward smile and left.

Later that day I knew that today was her birthday too. She had her friends came and brought her presents and cake. Did she expect me to congratulate her too?

Well, I dont care. 

##

Since the chocolate incident, I didn’t know why but I couldn’t stand her. I couldn’t stand that she might look at me at our monthly meeting so I skipped some. And if I did come, I tried so hard to resist the urge to look at her. I even avoided to work overtime even if I have to, just because I know she would be there to work overtime too. I couldn’t stand the fact that I have to be in this small office with her for a few more hours.

And the extreme was when I spontaneously, instantly left an elevator the moment I found her standing in front of the elevator, getting ready to enter.

I didn’t know why, I just knew that I couldn’t stand her. Couldn’t stand being with her. 

##

“Do you hate me?”

That girl, all of a sudden, confronted me, in that early evening with a terribly beautiful shade of yellow in the sky.

“Hah, what?? Why?” I tried not to look at those eyes.

“I just feel like you hate me. You avoided me. It makes me uncomfortable because we work together. We work in the same office together.”

I stunned. What?? It is ME who should feel uncomfortable!!

I coughed a little to kill a frog in my throat when she pushed me again with the same do you hate me question.

Isn’t it normal to avoid people you hate?

But why do I hate her again?

Why am I avoiding her? 

I closed my eyes. That early evening yellow sky was so dazzling I couldn’t keep my eyes opened.

It’s all started from those gaze! Yes! Those gaze at every monthly meeting. She kept throwing her glance at me, that’s why I feel uncomfortable with her! It’s all her fault, I always knew!

I opened my eyes. She stood still there, with the dazzling early evening yellow sky on her side, mocked me.

When did it start, again? How did I know that she often looks at me?

Oh crap. 

I looked straight at her eyes, and I got a bit of a frog in my throat again.

That’s because my eyes were at her, too. On all of those times when our eyes met, I was looking at her, too. 

And as usual, she immediately threw her gaze to her left, avoiding my eyes.


** Surakarta, August 2015 **

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